I seem to have a habit of writing about grief. It’s one of the ways I process loss. I know many of you can relate. Here’s a love letter to my Uncle Maurice, who passed away a little over two weeks ago.
I know not all of you have access to Substack, so I’m pasting the short essay below also.
“What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” ~ Helen Keller
Hello friends –
There’s been a lot going on in my personal life lately — so many losses. And I tend to write when I’m in grief, so the words have been flowing. It’s the way I process grief and make sense of loss.
My beloved Uncle Maurice passed away on August 5, 2026. He was my mother’s older brother, and the last of the three siblings. It feels like the end of an era. My mother’s younger brother Joseph died first when he was only 54 years in 2005. Then my mom, Carol, died at only 63 years old in 2010. And now Maurice, the oldest, was the last one standing and just died at 83.
His wife, my Aunt Nan, called me on his last evening so I could say goodbye before we lost him. They were so good to me and my husband Sean when we were a young newlywed couple living in Michigan and Sean was attending veterinary school at Michigan State University. They took us under their wing and acted like surrogate parents, and we will always be grateful for that.
My Uncle Maurice was a major influence on me in so many ways. He was the only one of his siblings to attend college and grad school, and that in turn, made me want to pursue higher education. He left New York to attend MSU on scholarship and became an epidemiologist for the state of Michigan. I heard family members refer to him as a geek, a nerd, and a smarty pants, and I knew what I wanted to be when I grew up — one of those. When I graduated from college and law school as a first-generation college and graduate student, I thought of him. He married his soulmate, Nan, and they shared a beautiful life together for 56 years, serving as role models to me and Sean for our marriage. He and Nan rescued countless cats, opening their home and hearts to furry felines, which Sean and I have now done for decades with dogs (I’m allergic to cats so that wasn’t an option!).
But perhaps my Uncle Maurice’s biggest influence on my life started when I was eight years old and he gifted me my first journal (a Norman Rockwell themed one that I adored), which set me down the path of becoming a lifelong writer. I thanked him in the acknowledgments to my novel, Everything We Thought Was True, teasing him — “Look what you started!” Thankfully, he read my novel last year after it released and attended my virtual book launch, so I’ll always have that beautiful memory to cherish.
When you lose a mentor or someone who deeply shaped who you are, grief hits deep. But thankfully, their influence stays alive inside your choices, your voice, and your view of the world. In that sense, my Uncle Maurice will always be with me. I am filled with so much gratitude and love for him! Here’s to a beautiful man with an intelligent mind, kind soul, and gentle heart.
Hold onto those you love, my dears!!
XO
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